|45SONICS0224||Handwritten note misfiled with documents for City of Seattle lawsuit over Sonics relocation. From Clayton Bennett to Seattle Symphony Director Gerard Schwarz: “While our brand spankin’ new OKC symphony hall sits empty, our wallets do not. Perhaps the Maestro and the Mrs. would like to see what $52 mil can buy you in OK. OK?”||5/10/2010||Seattle City
|77WAAGR0526||Confidential communiqué from Washington Wine Commission Executive Director Robin Pollard to French Wine Consulate (appellation d’origine contrôlée) Agent Pierre Vimonte. Pollard: “Oui to exchange of 10,000 pounds of certified French wine country terroir (dirt) in exchange for 10,000 barrels of superior Washington wine. Caveat: Do not put your labels on our vino.” [Note: Both parties involved deny involvement, but internal investigation has exposed repeated trips to chateaus in Côtes du Rhône and Bordeaux by Pollard with an extremely high number of checked bags.]||9/10/2010||Washington Department of Agriculture|
|46MAYOR0517||Internal memo from Mayor Mike McGinn to Chief of Staff Julie McCoy. “OK, the tunnel contractor’s in [for Alaskan Way Viaduct demo and tunnel]. Realistically, the thing’s gonna be way overdue (ka-ching for us when they miss deadlines!), so I think it’s prudent we go to Plan B: Insist on introducing the PW [prayer waiver] we talked about at dinner. All MVDs [motor vehicle drivers] will be required to sign a waiver releasing DOT from liability for damages in exchange for using DDR [double-decked roadway]. In the event of collapse (est. 2117), DOT can use plans/studies to imm. begin construction of tunnel, et al.”||08/16/2010||Office
|79BOEING0718||Transcript of confidential phone call between high-level Boeing executive (name redacted) and Airbus Chief Engineer Christian Favre. Subject: Joint operations for the troubled Dreamliner. Boeing Executive: “Come on Chris, stop calling it the Nightmare-liner. I’m looking for a little quid pro quo here if you want us to cut out the Chinese. All I’m saying is you guys agree to build a few sections. We’ll paint it here. Another thing on the down low: For future test flights, we’re looking for countries with less visible runways and airspace…. Oh, and do you have a good electrician we can borrow?”||10/13/2010||European
|07APPLSOFT1001||Transcript of phone call between Microsoft’s Bill Gates and Apple’s Steve Jobs. Subject: Future of web architecture. Gates: “Look, Ballmer’s an over-caffeinated nut. He’s just not going to admit the Mac software’s better.… Still, any chance you can loan a few of your guys to help us with Zune? On our end, we’ll help you trip Google.” Jobs: “I’m open to this, Billy, if ya back off copying our iPad and admit you stole the ‘Look & Feel’ in ’85.” Call dropped on Jobs’ iPhone.||06/03/2009||Federal Trade
|68COSTCO0322||Forwarded by a disgruntled now-former employee. From senior Costco executive to grocery, tires, wine, paper towel and carpet division heads. Subject: Downsizing. “Must we have 12 of everything? Am sick and tired of requesting a single staffer work on a task and being told the team package must include 11 additional members. Just once I would like a single response to a product inquiry rather than a jumbo pack of e-mails!”||11/21/2010||Department of Labor and Industries|
Power to the (customer service) people, or else we're doomed.