“Nathan Myhrvold wants to shake
up the marketplace for ideas. His mission and the activities of the company
he heads, Intellectual Ventures, a secretive $5 billion investment firm that has
scooped up 30,000 patents, inspire admiration and angst.”
— The New York Times
Patent No. 6804552: Killer
Startup Generator
A method of articulating business
models for startup companies involving the motion of a ball-point pen across a
cocktail napkin. May also include polo shirts, the process of consuming several
pints of fermented barley liquids, and frequent use of the words “actionable,”
“end-to-end” and “inflection point.”
Patent No. 7346294: ATRV-260
An aero-terro-refueling transport
capable of refueling fighter planes in mid-flight as well as ground-based
vehicles in mid-traffic. May operate at altitudes ranging from 20 to 60,000
feet. May require adjustments in runway length at local gas stations and
revisions to building height limits in urban environments. May include
air-conditioned cab and/or mudflaps with figures of reclining naked girl or
Yosemite Sam.
Patent No. 7392375: Personalized
Medicine
Method of tailoring medical care
to the patient’s genetic makeup, blood type, allergies, diet, cholesterol, chi
balance, economic status, proximity to medical facilities, medical education
level and tolerance for self-inflicted pain. May include gauze, razor blades
and a bottle of Scotch.
Patent No. 7462057: Space Escalator
A method of conveying payloads of
cargo and/or passengers into low Earth orbit at a gentle speed by means of a
moving conveyor of articulated steps extending from sea level to an altitude of
150 miles at an inclination of 45 degrees. May include moving handrails and
piped-in relaxing music at altitudes with sufficient atmosphere to carry sound.
Patent No. 7465735: Drugz2U
A drug delivery vehicle designed
to supply the recipient with the optimum dose of a wide variety of medicinal or
narcotic substances, whether taken orally, intravenously or nasally, paired
with a mobile commerce solution. Vehicle consists of prominent chrome fixtures,
leather seats, 100-decibel sound projection system, 24-inch rims and young man
in figure-obscuring hoodie in the controller seat. May include personal defense
weaponry.
Patent No. 7926864: Bionewsoid
A bioengineered organism designed
for the delivery of news content to consumers by means of forcing a mixture of
nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide through a flexible pipe with vibrating
valves to produce audible modulations in frequency and amplitude. It further
shapes the expelled gases with an articulated labial-lingual-dental enunciating
orifice. May include cap and Radio Flyer wagon as reputation enhancement
technology.
Patent No. 7794729: TrialsRUs.com
A service to expedite the process of
obtaining regulatory approval for pharmaceuticals by producing documentation of
clinical trials supporting desired outcomes prior to or regardless of whether
clinical trials complete all (or any) phases of study. May include
wholesale/retail sales via an e-commerce engine and the hiring of postgraduates
as “content creation partners.”